The show's over

A very fuzzy and gradual awakening with half heard voices then a more distinct "Hello, can you hear me?"

My eyes gradually focussed, a nurse came into view and said "That's it, your operation is all over, you're in intensive care for a little while, just rest and the surgeon will be along to see you shortly".  I think I drifted off in a morphine induced haze, then another voice prodding me into consciousness, "Your operation went very well, it took almost eight hours and their was a lot of work to separate the prostate margin and try to preserve the nerves and blood vessels, but we're all done now, get some rest and I'll see you in the morning".
I was about to drift off again when my ICU nurse came to tell me what some of the pipework sticking into and out of me was for, "Most important, that wee plastic thing you're clutching, any pain at all and you just have to press the button on the end, it will deliver a dose of morphine, the pipe under your nose is oxygen, and the other tube in your arm is feeding you, You've got a catheter up into your bladder so that we can measure your urine output and make sure you don't get dehydrated, now, as the man said, get some rest and I'll check on you later".

I guess I was still well 'spaced out' as I don't remember pressing any buttons through the night and only began to surface when the ward lights were turned up and the blinds opened.  Morning ablutions consisted of a sponge down bed bath and a tooth brushing session.  Later in the day my consultant came to check on his handiwork and make sure his stitching hadn't unravelled.  He must have figured I was perking up because he took the oxygen off, and the feeding IV out.  At the evening meal I could manage some soup followed by ice cream.  My feeding improved somewhat on day two and by the end of day three only the wound drains and urine catheter were still in situ.  Day four and I'm due for a dressing change and drains out.  I knew what to expect.  Oh joy!  Externally you could see two plastic tubes coming through the skin at the lower end and either side of the neat line of stitches running down my lower abdomen, internally the drains were two perforated tubes left in the bottom of a deep surgical wound to allow exude which forms in the early stages of healing to drain out, if this not done these pockets of fluid can become infected causing problems for the healing process.
Basically the drains just have to be pulled out, not an exciting prospect!  Nurse puts one hand on my belly (to stop my insides coming out) grasps the outboard end, says "Are you ready?" "Go for it"  I said.  It felt as though a hedgehog was being pulled backwards out of me!  "Oh well done, only one more"  Another hedgehog hauled out and it was over.  One more day and I can have a shower, at least it was something to look forward to.

It wasn't long before I was shipped off to a small four bed ward to finish my recovery.  Reading, some TV and shuffling around the corridors with my catheter and bag of pee strapped to my leg.  In the day room I'd often get offered a cup of tea so I'd slurp it down and wait to see how long before my bag filled up some more.  Well it was a diversion from reading or daytime TV.

Ten days after being filleted I was discharged, I said my goodbyes, and clutching a fistful of medical notes and  instructions, and my clothes bag, pee bag was already strapped to my leg, I was off the the WRVS canteen to meet my daughter who had come up from Edinburgh and was going to drive me home.